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Over 1000 Nigerian Jokes and Funny Write Ups

Emeka way dey study banking nd finance Don dey sell power bank infront of bank.
ASUU abeg nau๐Ÿ™

Short people re the reason why children shoe’s re expensive
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

SUBMIT A PRAYER REQUEST TODAY ... Don't IGNOREย โ‡‘โ‡“โ‡‘โ‡“

Since I comot hand for relationship matter
I Don dey fat.๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿ™†

Small garri small eyedrop, na so I dey do am since make person no go blind๐Ÿ˜Ž

Me as a Lawyer: My Lord no dey shout for me na person I come defend, no be me thief the plantain๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

I first removed her bra and shifted her pant na so I take see space hang my cloth for wire this morning ๐Ÿ™„

Whether small or big, your role as a woman is to scream when it enters the house…. A snake is a snake ๐Ÿ˜

Wen jusus d entr temple wit cane, pple tink say he wan use am as parable, until nwanyi okpa hear “Nwin” for her back. Oso emme๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ˜‚

In Nigeria a lady can love u with all her heart and still marry who is ready.
๐Ÿ™„

Everybody da give fluent speech,Tinub..come with him paper like oko student๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
Come dey shake hand join

Omo I “take the bull by the horn”” as una dey always talk am,
Bull Don use me knack for ground Oo
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†
Na hospital i dey

Dating a married man is very stressful. Smal quarrel e Don post his wife and pikin wit Caption “My true happiness”
๐Ÿ™„

Allow somebody’s son to date u๐Ÿ™„
Those bwess won’t press themselves๐Ÿ˜‚
We move๐Ÿ˜‚

Full meaning of PANTS.
“Private Areas need tight security”
They won’t teach u diz one in school.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ogbasadim๐Ÿšถ

5Alive is now 500 naira…
100naira per Alive
๐Ÿค”

If you’re short you can’t make heaven, because you have come short the glory of God.
๐Ÿ™ˆ

Na my number u block for ur babe phone no be my leg.
๐Ÿšถ

Who else noticed say food no dey last long again for belle
๐Ÿค”

 

If she visit nd sit on the chair nd she’s too shy to come to bed.
Just take a picture of her,
She will come nd check๐Ÿ˜ And………

Since I comot hand from women wit big yansh my life just dey go smoothly.
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ˜‚

Her:- Baby am not fine๐Ÿ˜ญ
Me:- Do make up nau๐Ÿ™„

Why dis Barber dey use hot towel?
Na #300 I get oh
๐Ÿ™†

Wahala is when you innocently save the number of the woman that supplies you honey as HONEY and while the phone is with your wife, Honey sends a text message – “Tomorrow’s own will be sweeter than what you got last week”.๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Onions is nice and very healthy.
But please, do not smell like it.

You book a hotel room for 50k, and gave her 5k while leaving
Why not Give her the 50k and do it in the bush?
M.a.d people!๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Men don’t cheat, they just want to know the difference between IFEOMA and IJEOMA๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿคช

The M in man stands for money
While the W in woman stands for withdrawal
Is d volume ok? ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

The coat wey I cut according to my size don Dey tight me oh ๐Ÿฅน

Pls how can someone deal with husband that cannot sleep without breast in his mouth asking for a friend

“I Like It Rough”
Don Hit Head For Bed Frame come faint ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿป

Before u post Beauty with Brains please block us ur course mates๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธi no wan call names

Encourage me wit credit Alert wic one be “Keep pushing”
I tell u say I get Belle?
๐Ÿ™„

Don’t look at the size just put it…it will enter slowly some shoes re like DAT
๐Ÿ˜‚

Where do ladies get T.fare from wen they hear their boyfriend is wit another girl?
๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ™„

Android phne cn be so anoyin. Jst got a notification dt my bible needs an update, for wat?
Has Adam eaten anoda apple again?๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†

I am writing a break up latter Now. Can someone help me in spelling, enimo. As in” I can’t take it no enimo ” ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ

The way girls love money nowadays.
I ask myself was it really Judas dat sold Jesus or it was Judith.
๐Ÿค”

Let me motivate you people small
Envy No man, his trouser may look good but his Boxer Might Have holes…Be Contented๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜‚

GUESS MY BATHING SOAP AND STAND A CHANCE TO BATH WITH ME

https://web.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=4848784655244056&set=a.113623535426882

Women re they only gender dat meet the Devil one on one,
Wat they discuss I don’t know๐Ÿ™†

One girl com do home delivery for my area since yesterday she never comotโ€ฆ.I see her this evening she wan go fill gas ๐Ÿ˜‚

How Satan take enter Garden of Eden sef.
Abi Angel’s no dey gate๐Ÿ™†.
Diz story no clear๐Ÿ™„

Me as a pharmacist:
Bros u fit vomit dat medicine, I Don do small mistake

I confess my sins for church on Sunday
Pastor call police๐Ÿ™†

A foolish man complains of his torn pocket, while a wise man uses it to scratch his
balls
๐ŸŒš

Sometimes, I don’t write anything in my exam sheet because I know silent is the best answer๐Ÿ™„

Wen Anambra girl tell u ” i am Solly”
U”ll be wondering if she’s introducing herself or apologising
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Wahala be like Anambra English.
Move reft , go stlaight , then
turn light , u will see the bakely by the reft
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Once a Lady get married, every other girl around her become “runs girl”
meanwhile they were both in active service before she retired๐Ÿšถ

Na love and attention u tell me oo๐Ÿ™†
Were I won see 50k for wig๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™„

Big bress is fine in clothes only. But small bress fine wen naked”
Tangerine owner Don drop Quote๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜

He rape u but u suck dick.
Favour ” I no understand diz storyline at all oo๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†

Don’t ask me for any Relationship advice๐Ÿ‘‚.
Am single, and I support heartbreak๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

Wen u eat cucumber wit banana u becum “Cubana”
No nutritionist will tel u diz๐Ÿ˜‚

Mek nobody use tomorrow threaten you. Na God get am, no be their papa.

One deceptive character about abusive men is that, they are very friendly and nice to people outside but beast to their wives at home
Only their wives can tell their true character.

Never judge a Divorcee.
Na who wear shoe Sabi where e dey pain am.

One polo 15k๐Ÿ˜ณ
Una plan for this Nigeria na to see my Nakedness
๐Ÿ™†

She refuse to marry him because of his surname ONUAMU she don’t want people to start calling her MRS ONUAMU…
This Gender eee

A virtuous woman is the one who shaves her armpit and apply deodorant, there’s nothing virtuous about smelly armpit. ๐Ÿ‘Œ

Ashebi 50k,
For this ur husband way no fine
๐Ÿ™„

I blame myself for keeping chair in my room๐Ÿ™†
Come bed she no gree๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ’”

I remember when Vaseline was just a body cream. But now people use it to make way where thereโ€™s no way ๐Ÿ˜‚

If Ur Parents Know Some Of D Things U Have Licked
They Wont Let U Use Their Spoon๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿป

If u finish ur Education in Nigeria without handwork, u will understand why Nigerian Anthem stop with
“So help me God”
๐Ÿ™„

All of u wey dey sleep naked for night make una dey pity una guardian angel nau
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

Avoid men that tear bread nylon..
Na them they spoil bra pass.
๐Ÿ˜‚

But this country shaa
Boys dey drink bitters, girls dey use sweetener’s
All for same matter
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ’”

If weapon wey dem fashion against me get Big nyash E Don prosper ooo๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”
๐Ÿ™†

Pls oo๐Ÿ™†
I misplaced my glasses diz morning in case u see me in ur Relationship abeg no vex I no dey see well again๐Ÿ™„

If ur secret dey wit me come and buy me food
I no fit dey carry ur secret up & down wit empty stomach
๐Ÿ™„

I ON Gen for U, you still dey ask if I love u.
๐Ÿ™„

No sex position makes a man faithful,
my sister don’t destroy your kidney

U enter bike go warn person way dey Drive lexus to stay away from ur babe
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™† Some guys shaa

Ur Boyfriend dey call u princess u dey shine teeth๐Ÿ˜€
U no ask who be Queen
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”

For a relative to assist you by means of connection etc,such a person doing that for you must be under an extraordinary power,
God.

The last time I stood up for my right.
Na right hand dem use wose me Slap๐Ÿ˜ญ

S*x is too early but Transfer is not too early?
Awww Armed Robber & more

A Man’s SHOES Should Match His BELT, Says A Slay Queen Who’s Face Doesn’t Even Match Her Neck. ๐Ÿ™„

The creator made WOMAN to please the Eye and trouble the Mind.
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Don’t lose that woman if her nyash soft๐Ÿ™ˆ.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Because I no get money u say ur own period dey last two months.
Chioma u get brodas oo๐Ÿ™„

I can’t drive u crazy anymore oo, omo petrol is now #250 per liter๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ’

May the iron in their bra never kill Dem be4 their time Ebube own nearing wound am today INUKWA package ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

E get the kind stress u go face for life,,
Low cut go just dey sweet u to barb๐Ÿ™†

You complain of our leaders being corrupt but the little chance given to you to share rice in occasion you passed me ๐Ÿ˜Ž nonsense

Never lend money to people born on MAY.
Cuz they may or may not pay u back๐Ÿ˜‚

Back then in school nothing sweet me like u have not paid ur school fees go home ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€

She used face lock for her password, now she don wash her makeup ๐Ÿ›€
Phone no gree open again ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿ˜

Nyash way I flog for primary school Don they enter my eyes oo
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

My phone never crack since I buy am imaging if u give me ur heartโค๐Ÿค—

There has never been Beer scarcity in Nigeria
It’s high time FG hand over NNPC to Nigerian Breweries to ensure adequate supply

As e be like this if you send me money now I fit marry you ๐Ÿคฒ๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ฉ

Even Satan who’s duty is to lie can’t ask u to invest 10k and get 100k in 40minute
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

If you see toilet in your dream please don’t use it… Please don’t use it ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ I will explain when am done washing my bedsheets๐Ÿ˜ฅ

ODOGWU Are Men Who Take Care Of Their Women, While The Rest Are ODIEGWU.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
Is d volume ok???

If wedding vows include may u die the day u cheat.
Will u still marry
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Some bress have settled down
But the owner is still single and searching
๐Ÿ™„

That moment
she hears her husband
is in a hotel with another woman.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ (Speed Meme Here)
So we no fit take the gospel at d hotel Again

Aunty He’s toasting u & u are asking him if he doesn’t have a gf. Let me ask u, have u ever seen some1 going to buy clothes naked?

I don’t know why Hotel towels re so Big now my bag zip has spoilt
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™†

 

๐Ÿ˜‚ Naija girls codes and Meanings๐Ÿ™†:.
1 Ode :- my love
2 Big head:- fine boy
3 it’s fine:- stop it
4 I’m leaving soon oo:- we suppose Don dey knack by now.
5 what:- I’m about to get angry.
6 Nvm:- I Don vex.
7 Hope ur girlfriend will not kill me:- Are you single๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”

 

Keke wey i enter today go jam Mercedes GLK 350 all of us run๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ including the keke man๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

The way I am going to kiss my wife on the wedding day even her Dad will be angry.
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Where others go and fail.
Igadi very careful.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

I done go use foreign number register my Jamb now my Center dey UKRAINE
๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ™†

Girl wey I like cum send am 2k bcuz she get big nyash, Don tel me say na foam she use oo๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

How person go hold 700k phone and still get body odour??๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ
Misplaced priority ni.
Roll on is just #650๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

DM if u fit Date broke guy.
I go use Love finish you๐Ÿ™„

FLAT tummy won’t matter in heaven
Eat for the journey is far๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

Me:- baby I Buyed u somfin.
Bae;- Lol is not Buyed its Boat.
Me:- ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ™†

Which one is “Father lord as I want to sleep come & sleep with me” Sister na ashawo dey your eye abi na English be your problem ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜‚

Wahala for who leave Nigeria go school for Ukraine oo. Better make ASUU strike me than Missile oo๐Ÿ™†
๐Ÿ™„

Nowadays them go first do plenty things for your waist before them do small thing on your head…๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ daughters of zion

Small money enter my hand u don dey call me Blood.
Unblood me abeg I be AA you be SS

 

The mood wey I dey now not even Alert will chear me up but send am fess make we see
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Conrgatulations ๐Ÿ…๐Ÿ†for not reading the first word correctly
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

When God told all the animals to respect humans,I don’t think mosquito attend the meeting ๐Ÿ˜ƒ ๐Ÿ˜ƒ.
Ihe nkea obu wetin

There are some sex styles that are automatically a sin even when you’re married.
You want to kill each otherโ“wetin my eyes see ee
๐Ÿค”

Some of u ladies are single because when men look at ur stomach they think u are pregnant…
pls eat with caution ๐Ÿ˜‚

Everywhere done silent.
Una don dey knack Abi.
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

The way you dey fear diรงk na the same way I dey fear transfer
No prejur me!

My virginity is coming back small small I can feel it.
๐Ÿ˜‚

Second wife Don turn first wife to lesbian.
Now Husband dey single inside marriage
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™„

 

If dem check my body system now I sure say Garri done plenty pass Blood๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™†
God help me

Soon them go buy gift for themselves, snap it and post “Wow! Wow!! Valentine Gift from boo” Boo wey never chop since morning ๐Ÿ˜‚

The day you scratch a big man’s car, just pray he is not in the car with two or three of his friends who depend on him for their livelihood
Those ones no dey hear abeg๐Ÿคฃmy story

Them Don marry all the wife material finish na harder harder remain
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™†

Some girls re still trying to figure how they will be in 7places on Valentine’s day
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Every cheating story is about men but once you mention DNA na women dey faint… Isn’t God wonderful ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Plumber wey Dem Carry come repair kitchen sink
Don warm jollof rice say him get ulcer ๐Ÿ˜‚

I look like Iโ€™m okay but deep down, I want Valentineโ€™s gift.
Even if itโ€™s water gรนn or agege bread.๐Ÿ˜„

All these Gals dat canโ€™t kneel down jus for 5mins 2pray,but can kneel For two hours doin doggy style,even d devil wil not 4Give u

I just finished reading the Bible….Wetin Satan do no really good. If person see truth make e dey talk am ๐Ÿ˜‚

We men na peace of mind we dey find o..no be big yansh & bress.
Buh if u still get am RUGGED YOU
๐Ÿ˜€

Sometimes i feel like going to Kilimanjaro and crunches but when i remember how i suffer get the money i turn back๐Ÿ˜‚

 

My dear Don’t let any guy deceive you that you look like Angel.
Angel no dey bleach ๐Ÿ˜‚
Is the volume ok……

Avoid crime in this harmattan because it’s only singlet you will wear in police station ๐Ÿคฃ

Imagine you’re showing ur wife something on ur phone nd a message enter “why did u release inside me yesterday”๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿค—

Girls with round face would go and do heavy makeup and end up looking like digestive biscuit
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ˜‚

No be to cry during worship, you go gree change? ๐Ÿ˜
Ndi Pharisee

Imaging putting love๐Ÿ’ portion in ur boyfriend food and Rat๐Ÿฟ mistakenly eat it nd start following u up and down
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

you are fasting and u are opening fridge
are u looking for praying points
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Some men intentionally cause problems at home so they could go out to have fun in the name of “anger.”๐Ÿ˜‚
My sister no gree o!

To do ritual no hard, buh to obey Baba instruction na d issue…wic one be “Don’t laugh on Saturday” wat if Man U lose?

WAHALA
Madam dial oga number with house girl phone, na sweet heart show.. ๐Ÿ˜ณ

I need a Relationship as strong as Nokia 3310. Am tired of all diz Android & iPhone luv.
Just small fal screen don break
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™†

They want their daughters with kids to marry but don’t Want their sons to marry single mum๐Ÿ˜œMad oh!๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

While praying for a good husband please pray to have sense too.. You can’t wear suit with bathroom slippers!!

Abeg make una send me 2k take hold body,
Eye๐Ÿ™„ dey turn una Future Husband๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿ™†

The energy wey I put for Love if I use am learn Mechanic I for don sabi Repair Plane๐Ÿ›ฉ

Going to the mountain to pray and taking selfieโ€™s shows the issues that took you there are not serious..๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

One tin u should take in2 consideration wen approaching a lady.
D longer d skirt, D longer d Relationship.
Flyover agbasadim๐Ÿšถ

Stop posting old pictures, if u re no longer Hot,
REST!
I no wan mention names

I hear say wife material don put maggi for custard
๐Ÿ™†

โ€œI don knack amโ€ wonโ€™t stop people from marrying them.
Just so you know ๐Ÿ™‚

If youโ€™re depressed, talk to me.
If itโ€™s about money, weโ€™re both depressed.

Never feel bad when your friends are becoming ur enemies, they are tired of pretending. ๐Ÿ˜

2 days ago in my compound.
There is this guy living with his girlfriend. They are so romantic.
I and others do gossip about their relationship
I have been telling people in my compound that love doesn’t last these day, one day they will break up
I was inside my room today, suddenly I heard them quarreling.
The guy said to the girl “Do you know I can sIap you?
The girl replied “SIap me na, I will teach you a lesson
*Me and others were busy peeping from our houses, waiting for them to fight so that we can laugh at them
But after few minutes, they stopped quarreling. We were confused
Then the next statement I heard was the guy telling the girl “Baby, do you want Kpomo or fish
Me:

What is all these? ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”
Just coming back from the ATM to withdraw N1000 for dinner
On my way home, I met with a Jehovahโ€™s Witness. After preaching to me, they invited me to their church on Sunday and handed me a paper.
As soon as i left there, I folded the paper and threw it away.
Getting to where Iโ€™ll buy food, I noticed it was my N1000 i threw away and i was left with the paper Jehovah witness gave me.
Now Iโ€™m having headache all over my body ๐Ÿ’”

I’m tired of paying rent ๐Ÿ˜ณ tomorrow am moving to the church since it’s my father’s house ๐Ÿ˜‹

Anyone who traveled on your behalf for evil will never return ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿพ

When I brake plate in front of visitors.
MOM:- ๐Ÿ˜€
Once dey leave Ewoooo (Sabinus Boxing Meme)

Teachers are the only workers who beat their customers
๐Ÿ™„

So u mean girls can press bress anytime dey like cuz na dem get am
๐Ÿ™„
Mk una fear the Creator

 

Babe I am tired of skin to skin, let’s do soul to soul
๐Ÿค—
U nd who

At least shaaa 4kids re okay..2boys and 2 urgent 2k.
๐Ÿ™„

A boyfriend that doesn’t press ur bress wen kissing has no plan for marriage๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Marriage is finding that special person u want to annoy for the rest of your life๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ

People won’t raise 1 kobo for u to start a biz nor pay hospital bills when sick but same people won’t mind donating even 1m for your burial ๐Ÿค”
This life no balance ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Lol.. I jam my pastor for restaurant now we begin laugh bcuz we supposed dey fast
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€

As I no fit win person pikin heart..
Make I kukuma win souls for Christ.. Give your life to Christ now…
๐Ÿ™„

Using sir for a man when you deeply know that he’s in love with you is witchcraft (Hellfire)

Your boyfriend already knows who he wants to marry,if you like stay in the kitchen and be shouting
“Baby semo or rice?”
Me i prefer Rice biko

Never u go out to jog without transport money na wheelbarrow they carry me come back this morning from joggling

As u dey fear preeq na so me too dey fear Transfer no prejor me
๐Ÿ™„

I paid 10k for a seminar on how to make millions,,
Na okada carry dey organiser come the venue
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™„

Person wey come meet me for help Today Later Dash Me 1k After We Talk Finish ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿ˜„

January menses has begun. Just in case u ain’t seeing yours. Call the big guy u go Bamba with, else u go run Kitikiti๐Ÿ˜‚

U are scared of buying things online
But not scared of going to see a man or inviting ghost to ur house

If Ur GF was able to Cheat in an exam hall wit 8 invigilators, 4 policemen, 6 CCTV Cameras.
My Brother Who are U??

I wounder why women call it menstruation instead of womenstruation. They like shifting all their problems to men

The stretch marks on some people’s body can wire 3story building.๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Don’tโ€™t confuse movement with progress! Examine yourself daily and be real to yourself.

Why do vehicles increase speed
When they are about to drop their passengers Only legend can Understand ๐Ÿ˜‚
— Because the passenger will be shouting harder baby harder

January can be so harsh some people will be looking for house rent, school fees and money for food stuff and some will be looking for their period.๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

I want my Relationship to be like those couple in CABIN BISCUIT.
They have been smiling since my childhood๐Ÿ’‘

I will be smiling thinking about my life then suddenly a girl will just pass without Bra,
Voom! Memory wiped๐Ÿ™„
Odikwa egwu ooh!๐Ÿ™†

When you help other people succeed your success flows naturally!!

If I dey enter your eyes Biko don’t close it, tell me, I wan marry this year.

He kissed ur forehead doesn’t mean He’s romantic ๐Ÿ˜ƒHe may be avoiding ur mouth odour
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

2022 if doors don’t open, we are getting through the window, we are winning beyond every situation by fire by fire.. ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ

U only hv 2 okirika pants and he is askin “wat can i buy 4 u”? And u ar sayin iPhone. Sister ur village piple ar strong o๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Person come for HIV test u still collect number!!!
Amaliri Chidiebere why?๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿฅด

I can die for u babe..
But small injection all the nurse dey hold u๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

Doctor: u can’t sell both kidney, u will die๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
Me: No be u go tell me wetin I go do๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

No be every girl way dey wear long gown be born again…some dey cover stretch marks, green veins, eczema and k leg๐Ÿ™„

God comot my rib create u, I no vex.
Now remove ur clothes make see watin him create e turn wahala.

Even with Condom I will still Use speed pull out
I no like wahala
I dey get trust issue

Na wife I dey find like this
I Don pass dating stage

Never re-friend a person that has tried to destroy you once.
A snake only sheds it’s skin to become a bigger snake๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‘

What if Satan decides to repent will GOD forgive Her
?
๐Ÿ™„

Na bread Jesus share he no do transfer,,
I no wan do pass my Lord ๐Ÿ™„diz Xmas
๐Ÿšถ

Some ladies re busy packing their luggage to go spend Xmas wit a stranger.
“I don’t want to hear justice for Ebube Blessing Ejiofor Oo๐Ÿ™†

Thank God say adam and eve chop that fruit na so we for de waka naked for this cold,cold for don enter my body๐Ÿ˜‚

since i pick dis #500 for ground my body have been doing me somehow as if I want to turn to fowl
๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค๐Ÿ˜ค

I don’t know why my neighbours stopped rearing chickens and started rearing local fowl’s.these local fowl’s speed too much abeg๐Ÿ™†

Sometimes I feel depressed in life but when I look out and consider people in worst situations than me, I cheer up and have hope.
Go to hospitals and see people living on drugs. They cannot stay a day without drugs and these drugs are costly.
Consider people that are crippled but they still manage to survive
Consider people that are blind but they still manage to survive
Consider people that are asthmatic but they still manage to survive
Consider people that are surviving on oxygen.
Consider people that don’t have homes and are begging in the street.
You failed jamb many times? Consider people that have not stepped their foot in a classroom since they were born
There are so many problems on Earth.
When ever you feel depressed, always know there are many people out there in worst situations than yours.
Don’t let depression make you commit suicide
Suicide does not take the pain away. It passes it to someone else
Your loved ones will always feel the pain.
Cheer up! Someday everything will be fine.

All I remember in maths is “Are we Together”๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Therapist:- it’s like u fall in love easily?
ME:- yes my love๐Ÿ™„

Ladies, if you’re lucky to have a good man that is financially buoyant, don’t use him
Add value to his life, help him get more.

Try to have a real relationship.
You didnโ€™t come to this world to nack.

Father Christmas don carry church bell run ooh
Una say wahala be like watin

never allow ur husband to pray silently he might be asking God for another wife
๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Ladies be talkin abt makeup like d re abt to go to war.”Wat eyeliner is dat? Its d latest Mac 452Ak47 suprem blend zero 10 masca๐Ÿƒ

Whoever I owe sex should inbox me sharply.
I don’t wanna enter 2022 with debt๐Ÿ™„

I wish I had a girlfriend,
I just dey see fine bags and shoes here and there.
But no one to buy it for!

Man: I really love you but if you want this relationship to work, you need to stop eating Okpa
Enugu girl: (Add Funny Face)

I can sense that 2022 is gonna be a year of ownership!U must own some stuff in ur name! Receive it now and start naming them. Amen

Wahala for chicken๐Ÿ“ wey no sabi run๐Ÿƒthis December
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

Those who are waiting for you to call for help so they could put their phone on loud speaker and mock you, shall wait in vain.

Maturity is when you understand that he loves you but he can’t date you alone…
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

One #Gucci_pant cost 200k and you expect her to sit and close her legsยฟยฟ๐Ÿ˜ณ
You must be very wicked! My sister open am as wide as possible jor,let them see what God has done for you
๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Please, before you embark on weight loss, check the size of your head to avoid looking like car keys.

Ordinary Teeth You Will Not Brush, Small Kiss Your Saliva Will Be Testing Like Expired Battery. ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜œ

Sugar mummy wey promise Leonard Okere brand new car for December don give her life to Christ. ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคช๐Ÿ˜

Nyash no get teeth but e dey cut shit๐Ÿ™„
Follow me๐Ÿšถ on more quotes๐Ÿ˜‚

The problem With many girls is that,they think Adam used to give Eve money
๐Ÿ™„

Once u start talking to me wit no Bra that’s wen I’ll start getting ur Point
๐Ÿ™„

Plss is it true that Suya reduce menstruation pains? Or has Ebube scammed me๐Ÿ™†

DECEMBER BREAKUP JUST THIS MORNING..
Bae why did u sweep my room wit broom wen u know I support “PDP”
its over๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿšถ

Even P-square are back together โœŒ
Satan swallow your pride go beg God na ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™Š
๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿšถ

If ur dad own a gas station & ur mum sells provision & foodstuffs, DM me for serious relationship that will lead to marriage ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜

Always visit your boyfriend on skirt, e get why ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ™Š
๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿšถ

Some guys are like bag of weed, u love him but can’t introduce him to your parents ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ™ŠWHY?
๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿšถ

There are families going into December with nothing, Dear God may you provide for their needs ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿปโค๏ธโœจ

Abeg from next week, any fowl dat passes my front is at owners risk.
Train ur fowl to stay at a place & stop slaying around๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

*As long as u’re not money๐Ÿ’ฐ don ‘t worry u’re not my problem.

IGBO BOYS BE LIKE
“Hello baby, I just landed in Nigeria now”
Igbo girls :- Gini mezie?
Ejim ur house key..๐Ÿ˜‚

Ashawo wey dem carry come for deliverance don tell pastor Longest time
๐Ÿ™†
Wetin una talk say wahala be like?

Who remembers those days when we entertained visitors with our albums at home? ๐Ÿ˜Š Now, all they want is phone charger…๐Ÿ˜

Stop putting hope on relatives if you want to go far in life.
Most of them only assist during funerals.

Ladies Feed Your Man Well. Fat Men Can’t Run Away! ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Nothing pain like swallowing a stolen meat without chewing it thinking that someone is coming e dey pain
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Nigerian math’s be like,
Example:-2+2=4
Classwork: if a room have 4 doors and 6 windows how old is ur Landlord?๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿ™†

Abeg make una drop motivational quote for me oo๐Ÿ™†
My gas just finished and na beans I dey cook๐Ÿ˜ญ

Wat Aba cannot do does nt exist๐Ÿ˜‚
After washin d Shirt I bought frm Aba, the crocodile on d Shirt decided to stay in the water๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ˜‚

Same guy that told you he will change your life
Only has 3 boxers the whole year
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‚

No matter how long you have known someone.
Once you realized they are messing with your peace of mind, let them go.

Marriage is really sweet for men.They will come home, eat the food and later eat the person that cooked the food๐Ÿ˜€

Some ladies are lonely and single because when their heart said yes,their friends said babe
This guy is below your standard

If alcohol was to be banned in Nigeria, many people would realize they have nothing in common with their friends.

He toast u, you no gree.
You asked him for money, He refused, you dey vex
No be person wey get Admission dey pay school fees?๐Ÿ˜‚

Please guys which other document do I need for my USA visa I have my waec and nepa bill already, am tired of this country ๐Ÿ˜‚

BAE :Huni am coming over
ME :I can’t wait
BAE ๐Ÿ˜˜ but am on my period o*
ME ๐Ÿ˜˜ dats why I said I can’t wait cuz am going sumwhere ๐Ÿ™„
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Na pastor way fit turn water to cooking Gas
Na him church I wan dey go now๐Ÿ™†

Omoh, Aboniki balm just mistakenly entered my eyes
I am now seeing everything as God made them ๐Ÿ‘€

Madam stop moving around the compound with a wrapper on ur chest ur husband do not marry a cultural dancer biko ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚

Hm diz my neighbo self
Return my virginity & my standing breast if u want a divorce, I hear my neighbour telling her Husband๐Ÿ™†
๐Ÿ˜‚

Interviewer:- Why should I give u this job?
Dechris:- if u no give me, na u go do am๐Ÿ™„

Don’t take social media so serious, we play here. Even if you’re ugly we say “Wow!! So cute” just for you to avoid depression….Shebi you get mirror ๐Ÿ˜‚

That guy that texts you only when you post a fine photo doesnโ€™t love you.
He is horny and wants to fornicate. ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿšถโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Am tired of building relationships….Any uncompleted one i see now na to roof am and park in quickly ๐Ÿ˜‚

My mom kept fish under the table I ate it, now she’s asking me to check if the Rat ๐Ÿ€ is dead.๐Ÿ˜ญ where is Red oil
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Better soup na girl wey sabi cook make am, no be Money.
Some girls can cook rubbish even with 30k.
๐Ÿ™„Aru mere

To win Edo girls heart you just need to have a car even if na ambulance ๐Ÿ˜‚

This year made you strong.
Next year is going to make you happy.

Relationship are for strong people lemme just focus on food

God will judge u, I said God will judge u, DAT is me testing mic๐ŸŽคat my Ex wedding๐Ÿ˜‚

Before u call any girl a prostitute
Check if Your mama get wedding picture๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ
E get why!!!

If you want to make enquiry about a lady you want to date or marry , get to her and find out yourself
Stop asking people questions about her because you may end up asking someone that is jealous of her , A family member that does not want her to progress or someone that wants to have you.
Any of these people can make her look needless in your sight.

When he said “I AM JOSEPH” his brothers were shocked. May God repackage us and reintroduce us to those who wrote us off.
Amen! Good morning everyone.โค

One delivery guy just called me now and asked if I am the person that ordered for fried rice and shawarma, I said “YES” and gave him my location
He is on his way
Na to reap where I did not sow dey hungry me now

Most times this people av no reason2dump u.They only saw a bigger bress&rememberhow ur soup was salty in 1993๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ™†

Na Emeka wey no get money them the call “Mekus” u see this once wey get money, girls the call them “Emmy”.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

I only wanted to be an adult cuz of 2 meat’s.
All this bills I didn’t sign for it oo๐Ÿ™†
๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

When someone decided to leave you,
Please let them go,
People are like clothes!
You can never be Naked no matter how Poor you’re.
Beliv๐Ÿ’ฏ

“Wow, you have the voice of an Angel”
Some guys will just be saying rubbish, which day you follow Angel talk? ๐Ÿ˜‚

How long re u going to continue hiding ur stomach wit purse wen taking pictures
๐Ÿ˜‚
Should I mention their names

U dey inside police van dey wave me๐Ÿš”
Which day dat friendship start???
๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’

Dn’t be a borin wife.once in a while wen ur mother inlaw is around go naked & touch ur bumbum & say.Mama diz wat ur son is enjoyin

Anytime I remember I am still a virgin,
Tears fall from my eyes๐Ÿ˜ญ
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

If you cannot control yourself while single, you can’t control yourself while married.
MARRIAGE doesn’t cure lust
SELF CONTROL DOES!๐Ÿ’ฏ.
I was Able to overcome but but but๐Ÿ˜œ๐Ÿ˜œ

May we never be useless like the radio in our Android phone๐Ÿ™

To serve Nigeria with all my strength, I no serve again. If Nigeria no get strength make Dem go gym or drink blue bullet. I don tire

Promote your friends business with the same passion you
use to leak their secrets
๐Ÿ˜‚
Who stone me

Na Solomon wey no wise Dem dey call Solo ๐Ÿ˜‚

Everyone is wiser when it’s not their story..

Na you get body odour, na you dey ask “who dey breeth”
Who wan breath for where you dey ๐Ÿ˜‚

They did not explain this adulthood thing to us very well oo
Being an adult is not easy …
When you have finished paying all your bills and start thinking everything is okey, boom! Your Generator rope will cut. After fixing it, your gas will finish, after filling the gas, Mosquito will start disturbing you at night, you will have no option than to rush to the nearest supermarket and buy insecticide.
After buying insecticide, thinking everything is okey, rain will fall and your roof will start leaking
After fixing the roof , thinking everything is okey. You’ll go outside to sit, relax and receive fresh air
While relaxing, that’s when you will see Nepa people coming with their Hilux and two ladders , requesting for Nepa bill or they cut light
CHINEKE NNA !!!

 

No be e everything wey sweet person suppose chop even sugar dey cause diabetes

Good day Gentlemen and that gender that wanted Joseph to do small.๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿคญ

When its ur time,
Even ur mistake will Favour you๐Ÿ’ฏ
Beliv๐Ÿ’–
Greetings from here!

Only men search for true love while women search for who can take care of them,once u can take care of them,they are in love๐Ÿšถ

I told her to stop coming wit her friend & she refused to listen..now her friend is coming without her.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

I saw my neighbor cooking beans with gas dis morning hmmm,I just greeted her and went inside to pick phone and called EFCC.

I can’t forget the day i dragged front seat with an external invigilator in a bus ,I didn’t even know he was an invigilator until I saw him in the exam hall and he said to me “come and seat at the front seat since you like the front seat. ๐Ÿ˜”
It is finished

“You are not my type” don carry belle for aboki man wey dae sell suya oh
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฟ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿฟ

Not all Men of God in quote are real..some are herbalist ..Satanic, evil destiny snatchers …the list is endless….๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

Dating a nurse is never romantic at all, wen she looks into ur eye’s instead of seeing Love,
She See’s Malaria oo
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†’

Small chat, you are already asking her “what are you wearing?”
Uncle is your cloth missing?

I tried the American style of reading and sipping juice.
I’m still in page๐Ÿ“– 1 and juice don finish๐Ÿ˜ด

If u see me wit sugar mummy
Plss mind ur business I also need iPhone 13
๐Ÿ˜‚

A guy & her bae were eating Apple in d bus, d next tin we heard from d troublesome conductor was “Adam &Eve where una go drop๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†

Dem cheat on u, u dey ask me “do I deserve dis?”
How I wan take know?
Make everybody cari him cross abeg๐Ÿ˜‚

“D hustle is for mom”
“D hustle is for mom”
Mom drop 1k 4 room
Nigga move am๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’”

I Need 5K to breath well Today

Understand this.๐Ÿ‘‡
Having 5 thousand friends is not bad but having few who can come to your rescue or stand for you is priceless.

Native doctor wey suppose hold rain at burial, say rain hold am for where him go buy materials ๐Ÿ˜‚
Problem no dey finish

Plss patronize me oo am selling Relationship fertilizer u meet today. Next week is ur wedding Affordable price๐Ÿค—

Anyone who is not happy about what God is doing in your life, shall remain in sorrow forever.
๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿ™Œ’

Please don’t test my Loyalty with bress..
I’ll fail woefully
๐Ÿ™†

Convincing a lady who came to visit u to leave d livin rum & entr d bedrum is a skil dt shuld be added to a Man’s CV๐Ÿ™†

I attended a crusade somewhere at Owerri, when we were praying, someone tapped me and said: broda you will walk. I was surprise because I am not lame.๐Ÿ˜ After the program, I discovered they have stolen my t-fare. My people, I later WALKED.

Dear God ๐Ÿ˜ญ
include our names in the next batch of people to be congratulated.
๐Ÿ…๐ŸŽ–๏ธ๐Ÿ†
๐Ÿ™

U bought slimming tea and you are drinking it with bread and sardine sister ๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ
What exactly do you really want to achieve?

This morning our bus wanted to take off and a woman started preaching with the topic “prepare to meet God” i kukuma come down ๐Ÿฅด

If Bress was meant to stand, it would have come wit bone”
Runs girl don drop quote
๐Ÿ™†

You no get boyfriend you dey buy pant๐Ÿ™„
Who go remove am๐Ÿค”
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

My crush told me she need a cool guy, pls hw long should I continue to stay inside diz fridge?
๐Ÿ™†.”Anam ablock zi ablock oo๐Ÿ™‡๐Ÿ™†

At the exam hall.
Lecturer: why is ur booklet empty?
Me: sometimes silent is the best answer given to a fool๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

Go to school, u say no, u done see twins nw and be telling dem dat d look face to face instead of d look at once๐Ÿ˜‚

Me as a surgeon:
Boss u sure say u enter this theatre with liver?๐Ÿ™†

The day I’ll enter plane ehhn
I’ll cut small cloud and put it inside nylon
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‡๐Ÿ˜‡

I am writing breakup letter
Someone should help me spell fallstraight
Asin this relationship Dey fallstraight me ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ฉ

I tell you say I dey catch cold you said make I go drink hot tea.
No worry u go need data nd urgent 2k๐Ÿ˜ญ

If you cheat, weโ€™re done.
Donโ€™t tell meโ€œLetโ€™s fix thingsโ€
Iโ€™m not an engineer ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ

You wan collect bread on credit you still dey ask if na today own.. People get mind oh
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

After eating shawarma and coke alone in the bus u naw turn around and ask me “we’re we” we are in Soddom and Gomorrah ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿ˜’
Wicked people

My phone just fell off from the table now, just hope my Facebook friends are not injured.๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค•๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿšถ

๐Ÿ™†3months without seeing her period,
Hmmmm.
Maybe its network

Deeper life couples after making love
Husband:-tnkz huni, dat was so sweet.
Wife:-tnk god, the provider๐Ÿ˜‚

Ur shoe is fine .
American:-thank u.
British:-I Appreciate.
Naija:- na 100k u dey see so oh!!
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Kissin ur husband wen his is asleep is one of d best gesture of luv๐Ÿ’“.
But naija women, oh my god๐Ÿ™†
D search๐Ÿ‘–trousers pocket instead.
๐Ÿ˜‚

Instead of buying slim tea, just support Arsenal and lose weight for free.

ME in court crushing๐Ÿ˜ on a female judge๐Ÿ‘ธ.
ME: Objection๐Ÿ‘†my Love, sorry Lord
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

If u need a friend that will keep secret, I am here for u,
Even wen Oge told me dat she did Abortion did I tell anyone?
๐Ÿ˜€

Never allow ur wife to name ur male child. She might name him after her EX..thank you.
Am serious๐Ÿค”

Life is not qualified by fluent English or
branded clothes. It is measured by the number of faces who smile when they hear your name.
๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ’ฐ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ๐Ÿ‘Œ

If a whole BBN can be sponsored by Abeg๐Ÿค”
Who am I not to beg you people for money.

My sister giving a good salary to your house help doesn’t mean treating her well… Atleast give her 1 day off every week to go quench her thirst, or else she will drink from your tap๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ…
I hope you understand?

Ladies who changes position during sex without being told,
May u receive ur financial breakthrough this month.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
What a relief

Good evening my fellow future billionaires.
I know poverty will tell Someone to skip this post.๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผ

No more Amebo again bcus We don’t know who is pregnant again..all this girls just carry big Belle
๐Ÿค”

Them comot my Rib create you,
Show me breast E turn problem
๐Ÿ™†

If u can’t send her transportation fare ….๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿคธ Please date the girl on your Street.
๐Ÿšต๐Ÿšต๐Ÿšต๐Ÿšต

Dating hausa girl is very stressful u will be hearing “Hamisu” Hamisu”
Not knowing dat she’s trying to say
“I miss u”๐Ÿ˜‚

Favour na relationship u wan do abi na my polo u come pack.
Talk to me๐Ÿ™„

Ordinary injection you’re crying๐Ÿ™„ but if it’s 6inches you will be shouting deeper deeper jisie Ike… Nwa deeper life๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

Always be thankful to your mother
What if she was not in the mood ๐Ÿ˜•๐Ÿ˜• that night
๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†๐Ÿ˜†

See as one edo girl fill her JAMB Form;
Name: Mercy Edofiagbo
Age: 19
Sex: 5 times daily

Until you start paying house rent, you won’t understand why the prodigal son came back.

My next girlfriend I will love you from the bottom of my kidney. let my heart rest small abeg !!!๐Ÿ™„

My guy open shop for girlfriend, customer marry her
Customer is always right ๐Ÿ˜‚

Stop fighting the other woman,
Your husband is the real home breaker,
If he values you, he will stay one place
But u need to tighten it..

I Don’t Know Who Need To Hear ๐Ÿ‘‚ This ๐Ÿ‘‡
No Matter How Hungry You Are, Never Let A Parrot ๐Ÿฆ Feed You. ๐Ÿ™Œ

Pride has a way of gradually turning a person into a fool without knowing ๐Ÿฅ‚

Stay away from friends that makes you feel your Man isn’t doing enough for you.
My dear, it’s not easy anywhere!

Dear Married Men, Stop Telling other ladies dat u You’re not Happy in ur Marriage While ur Wife Keeps Getting Pregnant๐Ÿ˜
My neighbors will not seem stop surprising me..

If you are looking for a wife material please go for a lady above 30 because their sense has come back to factory settings.

What and elder sees sitting down sometimes fit be Nonsense.
Reason am๐Ÿค”
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Any man dat’s asking u out as a married woman is only testing u to no de level of ur stupidity dat’s not love ๐Ÿ‘Œ

My Sister
No be to buy iphone and wear classy clothes and shoes.
My question is when last did you treat infection?
Share to help someone

If u re wearing leggings as a lady, kindly wear a top dat goes down a bit.
Help brothers to run๐Ÿƒthis heavenly race in Peace

She’s now pregnant because when the first pregnancy test came negative, they celebrate it with Sex
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ˜‚

Honestly if marriage certificate can Expire like Drivers license most men will not renew it

๐Ÿ™„Dating a sugar daddy when you don’t know your father is dangerous..๐Ÿค”

Anambra girls will zoom ur pic๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
To c if there is money in your pocket
B4 dey accept ur frnd request๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿผโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Where re d Geography students?
Please wat is d Name of that Star๐Ÿ’ซwe see after receiving HOT SLAP
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

So No wedding this Saturday ๐Ÿ˜ซ
How i wan take eat rice๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Never use anyone’s poor background to control and abuse them. Poor background does not mean poor future.
Tables can turn.

You no get nyash, you wear trouser dey raise your polo up, wetin you wan show me?
Your spinal cord ??

Money donโ€™t impress me ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ˜’ giving it to me do ๐Ÿ˜‚

Some people be so fine but smelling like MACKEREL ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜ญis like i go dey trek instead of entering public transport

The more i get to know people,the more i realize why Noah only let animals enter the Ark

If not for Konji wey dey catch boys,
Some girls no deserve “Hi” at all.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

People call it karma, but the Bible says ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ๐Ÿ—ฃ๏ธ you will Reap what you sow โ€ขโ€ขโ€ข

If u can’t speak English plss speak ur language.
Wic one is “Happy birthday dear, your days re numbered”
I tire oo๐Ÿ™†
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

My neighbor phone got stolen yesterday, please how long should I wait before asking him to dash me his Charger?
๐Ÿค”๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ˜„๐Ÿ˜„

Bring ur money
Let me keep for u
Nah so our mama take do their own yahoo๐Ÿค

Na mumu dey take “favour, precious, chidinma and joy as serious Girlfriend.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Make una dey try answer names una fit Carry oo..๐Ÿ™†
Dem beat God’s power today.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

He bought you fried rice, chicken and yoghurt since then u can’t take him off ur mind.
U re not in love.
U re hungry
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

For formication you dey bill me 10k๐Ÿ™„ something wey chisos go still punish me untop.
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Please, before you tell anyone your Problem, make sure the person is not a public speaker or a writer on Facebook.

Marry a beautiful wife so that when you go to family gatherings, she will be asked to prepare Salad and not to wash intestines of Goats and Cow.๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

To our Muslim brothers dat didn’t give us meat,
Mary is four months pregnant we will do you back๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

Apart from Chicken Republic, tantalizers, Mr Biggs and ShopRite, Which other female hospital do you know?..๐Ÿค”

Girls wit big breast re calm and friendly, but u see those once wit pimples on their chest..Hmm.
They re naturally wicked Oo
๐Ÿƒ
My experience thou

My school teacher taught me most of the lies I tell today, she would tell me to write a letter to my uncle abroad when she knows my uncle is in the village
๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

If you’re a lady reading this and you’re ready to settle down, may God bless you with ODOGWU and not Odiegwu

Whatever that black bra did to you,
Forgive and forget ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ
Buy a new one!

Don’t look for a virgin as wife, get a woman with good manners;
virginity ends in one night but good manners last forever.
โค๏ธโค๏ธ

After spending close money on her birthday.
On my own turn wat I get is clear road for my king..
OGE stop clearing road for me oo I no dey stay inside bush๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

A relationship should be “I water u, u water me, we grow together. Not ” I water u, I water u, I still dey water you๐Ÿ™„

I wonder how Obi Cubana usually sleep or cope with his wealth, me ordinary 30k that I have, everybody is looking like thief in my eyes

I Once Cried Of Heartbreak But After Eating Owerri Bole with fish,& Chilled coke, I Later Realized it was Hunger.

If your nigga keeps cheating on you with the same chic, humble yourself and ask that side-chic for some advice. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™‚๏ธthere is something you are not doing right

Teach your sons that cooking and cleaning are basic life skills not gender roles.๐Ÿ™‚
Hope d volume is okay

Teach your sons that cooking and cleaning are basic life skills not gender roles.๐Ÿ™‚
Hope d volume is okay

I thought been a pastor is a calling…
Imagine them sack you from your calling.
That means na flashing๐Ÿ™„

Before you forgive her for cheating,remember she was moaning for him๐Ÿง ๐Ÿคจ
And she put it back in very fast after it slipped out…

 

SAD!๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ
My friend travelled out on an official duty.
She was expected to spend 5 days, but as fate would have it,
the program only took 3 days and she could not reach her
husband on phone because her phone battery was dead so
she decided to return home unannounced.
When she got home, her children told her that their father had
a female visitor the moment she left and the lady has been
with them since then.
She was already infuriated and inquired the lady’s
whereabouts.
They told her, the lady was in the visitor’s room.
She went and peepped; lo and behold the lady was there and
was even tying her wrapper.
She quietly went to the kitchen and boiled water in her very
big kettle.
As the water was boiling, her husband drove in and when he
came into the house, he went straight to the visitor’s room
calling out ‘my love I’m home’. Unknown to him, his wife was
home.
My friend was even more angered when she heard his voice
and said to herself ‘today, God must receive 2 visitors today.
She took the boiling water and made garri for them (herself,
husband and her mother in-law) to eat
I know you like stories, especially the ones
that touch the heart .
That is the end of my story….๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿšถ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

Since I came back around 7pm yesterday evening, my heart has been beating very fast , so I con dey wonder why my heart dey beat like this
I decided to make a research, I opened my bag and counted the money inside, I just discovered the groundnut i bought while coming home, I gave the woman 1,000naira instead of 100naira
As I am talking to you now, my blood pressure has increased ….I am having high fever ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜ข
Even d groundnut no sweet someone should come to my rescue ooo๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

 

Once In a While ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ
Remove 2k from that money you’re Savingโ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ
Take a Walk to the Woman / Mallam Selling Roasted Chicken or Cat Fish ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ
Tell her to give you 2 Laps or One Plate ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต
Tell her to Package It On TakeAway ๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค“
On Your Way Home ๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ Buy Hollandia Yogurt ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ
When You Get home Lock Your Door โ˜บ๏ธโ˜บ๏ธ
Off Your Clothes ๐Ÿค’๐Ÿค’
Play “Timaya I Can’t Kill Myself Song ” ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต
Please Don’t Sit on the Chair ๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿฅด
Spread on the Floor and make sure you tear that Chicken / Fish as You Listen To the Song ๐Ÿ™ƒ๐Ÿ™ƒ
Then Dilute It With Hollandia Yogurt ๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿฅณ
Problem No Dey Finish For This World ๐Ÿค•๐Ÿค•
So Don’t Kill Yourself Trying to Solve Everything Without Taking a Break to Relax And Enjoy ๐Ÿฅต๐Ÿฅต
Are You With Me??๐Ÿค“๐Ÿค’๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿฅณ๐Ÿ’œ

Anytime my friend see Nigerian police doing recruitment, he will remember his 1st & final attempt.
They were told to run 200meters, he tried his best to be the best & took 1st, Only for him to be slapped severally & disqualified that he was running ๐Ÿƒ like a THIEF & not a police ๐Ÿ‘ฎ ๐Ÿ˜‚ ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Reduce the Volume Of Your FAKE LIFE , Make your Helper No Go Dey Call you Mentor !!!

My sister,
If your boyfriend hide you like weed…
My dear hide him like your tear tear pant
I don’t like nonsense๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

A woman calls her husband who has gone to work.
Woman: Baby, buy me Yam at the market when U get back from work.
Husband: OK. But I gave you the money when I left the house this morning, right?
Woman: Yes, baby. I’m tired. Do that for me, sorry!
Husband: OK, see you later.
a few minutes later, the husband calls the woman back.
Husband: Honey, help! Come quickly, to the market. The lady selling the yam grabbed me by the neck and said that I was responsible for her pregnancy.
Woman: What? Baby I’m coming in a minute.
arrived at the market she calls her husband to know his position.
Woman: Hello baby, I’m already here. Where are you ?
Husband: I’m still at work. Buy your yam and go home quietly.
๐Ÿ˜†
There are plenty ways to handle ur woman.. mustn’t be by gragra and quarrel๐Ÿค—

 

Assuming you were offered 2million to beat me up, ๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„
Don’t Tell me you will accept that stupid offer ๐Ÿ˜’๐Ÿฅบ๐Ÿฅบ, it’s me oooh ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ช๐Ÿ˜ช

Baby where is this Relationship heading to??
ME: Anywhere fuel finish I go drop you๐Ÿ˜€
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Dating many guys is a way of confusing your enemies from attacking the one you want to marry๐Ÿ™„
But guys will not understand๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€

The problem of dating a guy Abroad is that u don’t know how many of u are waiting for him to come back ๐Ÿคฃ ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

Girls will just come to your house and think they can have any of your property.
This one carried my Follow-come Charger and within 2 weeks Iโ€™ve bought 3 chargers.
Ebube you will purge inside traffic ๐Ÿ˜ 

Even if it is too small,know how to use it to satisfy ur woman
I am talking about ur salary o

Stop crushing on people’s boyfriends. Tell ur boyfrnd 2 bath wel, dress nice, eat balanced diet & stay away 4rm weed & tramadol.๐Ÿ˜œ

EDO man returns wife to her parents, says her VIRGINA IS WIDE.
Me: Trailer Don pass for Keke lane….

Baby pls manage this 20k for not calling you yesterday that’s how real MEN apologize.
ladies am I communicating?
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿคท๐Ÿผ

Ask for her Account number and send her money.
Not Everytime, “How was your night”..Person wey no get money dey sleep?๐Ÿ™„

Deeper Life Nigeria putting on trouser to Church is not allowed. Deeper Life UK/US trouser is allowed.
Who is fooling who now? Nigerians ndo!

It is only in Nigeria second Wife will be accusing husband for cheating,
IF the idiot did not cheat will u be his WIFE
๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜

Before Money was introduced,
What did women find interesting in MEN??
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

I’m not in the mood to post anything,
I lost my 2000 naira on Tuesday,
Who did i offend??๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

Stop saying they stole ur girlfriend. Where were you wen she needed 2k urgently?
Gudmoney oo๐Ÿ˜‚

Wen ur boyfriend cooks & wash d utensils, he’s romantic. Bt wen ur brodr does dsame tin to his girlfriend, its witchcraft.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

My boyfriend cheated on me, I must cheat on him too”
AUNTY NA LIE
Ashawo first dey ur eye before
๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜€

As at today,I don’t know what to post anymore,I am only left with people’s secrets
Make I post am?
๐Ÿ™„

It’s not about having big nyash, my question is,
DO YOU HAVE MONEY TO PAY FOR TWO SEATS?๐Ÿคท๐Ÿป,
Nobody should press me again oo๐Ÿ˜ญ

I done buy the RING๐Ÿ’but kneeling down in front of a Girl I senior is d Problem oo๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Good wife should be like…..Welcome my husband, food is ready. Will u hmmm๐Ÿ˜‰b4 u eat or will u eat b4 u hmmm*
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Baby come to my house……
Baby come to my house….
My brother what exactly is happening in your house? Or should i mind my bizness
๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„๐Ÿ™„

My wedding vows will be simple nd short.
“Agnes, as I’m abt to marry u, pls don’t kill me b4 my Time”.

Girls ‘II be like, all I want from him is “CARE, ATTENTION, SUPPORT & HONESTY..
Now put all d first letters together( ๐Ÿ’ต )
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Don’t eat well oooohh,
Be using ur money to buy drugs to last on someone’s
Daughter. idiot.

Dating for long is not a reason to marry๐Ÿ‘ฉโ€โค๏ธโ€๐Ÿ‘จ you, someone can spent 7 years in medical ๐Ÿจschool and later become….๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝ DJ

Don’t marry a man cuz of his wealth, even in wealth some women cry๐Ÿ˜ญfor Divorce.
Marriage is about happiness
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

DURING SEX SOME Girls will be like…baby please don cum inside ooh
They think it’s easy to jump out from a running vehicle๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

What is the purpose of using waist beads if your stomach will cover it?๐Ÿ™„
Wahala be like ashawo work
E nor dey had to start๐Ÿคฃ

What do Ladies usually draw on a Man’s chest wen Demanding for money Bikonu ??
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

A real woman will stay awake all night just to make sure mosquitoes don’t disturb her husband.
I love my husband no be for mouth bikoo

You were dating him, he married another lady and you are still dating him.
What is really wrong with you?
Wetin i no go see for front sit

I have kidnapped myself, u people should bring 3million naira or else I will remain in dat uncompleted building Oo.
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Devil is such an idiot, wen u wnt 2 stop fornicating, boom one girl will just call u & say ” you dey house ๐Ÿ™†”?
And I wasn’t trained to tell lies ,and turning her down is another sin ๐Ÿคง๐Ÿคง
For those who knows me i hate lies

U that lost your virginity because of blackberry curve 2
Now that iPhone 12 is out I wonder what u will lose, maybe ur kidney

If your wife is sick don’t rush her to the hospital always apply FIRST AID by crediting her ACCOUNT! alert heals women faster.

Please that money u want to use nd buy cloths Pls take 500 from it nd buy Roll-On
, stop frustrating us with ur body odor ๐Ÿ‘

She posted feeling sad and u rushed to comment wats wrong??
Its like u have 2k u re not using๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€

I told my Girlfriend I’d like to have 7kids after marriage and she shouted..Ah babe! That is too much naa’..” In my mind I was like.,
“What’s wrong with this one,
Are you my future WIFE??
๐Ÿ˜€๐Ÿ˜€
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

Ladies if you really want to be successful in life Fuck us, ๐Ÿ™„sorry I mean Focus
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

If you know the number of girls using your boyfriend’s towel,
You will know that the pimples on your face are not natural.๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

I swear women have this hidden talent called “let me upset him today.
๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ
But i am an overcomer

I was shocked when l saw my neighbor wearing Earrings & l asked him: โ€œAre you ok?. He replied and said, โ€œI started wearing them the day my wife found them in my car, l said they are mine ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Aunty if I toast you, you duty is to say YES or NO.
Wic one is “what of ur GF?
U wan poison her??
๐Ÿƒ

I wish I had plenty money instead of this big preek I am carrying up and down๐Ÿ™†

So you are dating a Dj and expect him not to cheat? Someone who can mix three songs at the same time..
My sister wake up..

Always visit your boyfriend on skirt, e get why ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿ™Š
๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿšถ

If u don’t make time for ur wife sum1 else will. Ask Adam he left Eve alone for 2min nd d snake took her for launch๐Ÿ™†

If our Girlfriends know the amount of girls we ignore daily bcuz of them.
THEY WILL PAY US SALARY.
Am I communicating?๐Ÿ™‹

Some guys can deceive…
They’ll be like “Baby, i see my future kids in your eyes” Weldone sir chairman of national population commission. Hope you are seeing golden morn, pampers, school fees and other baby food on her forehead too?* ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Please if he is not touching you in the right places, hold his hand and direct him to where you want him to touch. Don’t be shy ๐Ÿ˜’

Na person wey deserve respect we go respect ๐Ÿ™Œ
Your age is your business ๐Ÿ™‚

Ladies with small Bress are only good at shouting ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”

A good pusssy must have walls oo! It must also have step at the entrance. if it doesn’t have, then stop doing shakara ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿƒ

No matter what you are going through in life,
Please have s.ex

A guy can b sick, and when you go check on him , he will still knack you join๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜Ž๐Ÿ˜Ž

Eweeee, earpod of 130k no gree sound again.. I just hope say na me deaf ๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”๐Ÿ˜”

Never gang up against the innocent. Your reward is going to be disgraceful no matter how long it takes..

May Death Not Make Us Famous. Let People Hear Of Us While We Are Alive Positively IN JESUS NAME ๐Ÿ™โ™ฅ๏ธ

Fasting doesn’t stop you from brushing your teeth pls, I beg u in the name of God, brush ur teeth before leaving ur house ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ๐Ÿ˜ญ

AVOID GIRLS WITH SMALL BREAST
Sex No Dey Tire Them ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

A Child Is Not A Reason To Stay With Someone,
Sometimes The Child Is The Reason To Move On To
Provide a Better Lifestyle For Them.

Nawa for this country o. Person go finish University come dey learn handwork from person wey no finish Primary School ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜€

I buy jean 19k,you say make I lap you๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ.
You wan sit on grace ๐Ÿคทโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Girls who fight their fellow girls over a boy,
How are you doing tonight?

Stop dating people who makes you wear your weekend clothes during the week๐Ÿคฃ

Stop judging people for the same thing you did because you kept yours a secret

If we ladies won Cum, make una no dey quick remove PREEK.
E DEY SABI PAIN US๐Ÿ™ˆ๐Ÿ˜ข๐Ÿ˜‚

No matter how deep the love is…..he will finger you and smell it….๐Ÿคทโ€โ™€๏ธ

Guys who touch pussy while kissing, may God bless you financially.
๐Ÿ’ท๐Ÿ™

Stop holding grudges against me
I may have wronged you unknowingly, open up and tell me, i will apologies i am not perfect๐Ÿคท

Sometimes in life , you donโ€™t need encouragement, motivation, inspiration or love.
You just need someone to give you money.

Some people are like birds,You help them to fly and once they are in the air…they shit๐Ÿ’ฉ on Your head.๐Ÿ˜‘

No matter how angry you are at someone, never expose the problems and secrets they shared with you.
It speaks a lot about you

A real man will help you without asking for Sexx but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know what to do โ˜บ๏ธ

DEAR GOD AFTER MY STRUGGLE TO MAKE IT. LET ME LIVE LONG ๐Ÿ™๐Ÿฟ

Other tribes: Wetin man go do
Akwa Ibom: werin mango ru โ˜บ๏ธ
๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿƒโ€โ™€๏ธ

People who you cut off will never tell the full story,they will just tell people the part that makes you a bad person.

E get how raw knacking go sweet you reach, you will be like “shey highest thing na baby, make she born am” ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹

Some issues are meant to be solved na*ked ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Dis life nor really balance at all.
The more people dey hate you dey go, new set of people dey replace the space

If you have not drank your postinor2, do it now… 72hours go soon pass… ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ

The day I will upload a picture of my boo,the blind will see,the deaf will hear,those who are mad will become Normal.

If Those Babes Called “DORCAS” Catch U 4 Bed, My Brother Just Call Ur Next Of Kin Tell Am Where D Rest Of Ur Property Dey. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

The Moment You Look Back During DOGGY! ๐Ÿ˜‹๐Ÿ˜‹
And You See Him Holding His Nose. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

A poor man’s greeting is always mistaken for begging.
May you never be poor! ๐Ÿฅบ

This money is unisex.
Try and get your own ๐Ÿ’ฐ

Dating a neighbor is nonsense, you be receiving texts like: “Babe is everything okay i saw you coming from the toilet..”

Don’t be depressed….. get data on your phone & come online we will make you laugh with our nonsense… we also have loads of problem but we put it behind us
No room for depression we move*๐Ÿ™‹โ€โ™‚๏ธ

Deep down they know you are a good person,but envy and jealousy will never allow them love you and speak good of you.

I don’t gossip you, na u wey no dey around when I was talking about you ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ

U get Belle Dem engage you, u come dey shout “I SAID YES”… As if u get choice, u fit say no before? ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Total friends: 5000
Active friends: 200
Unactive friends:100
CCTV CAMERA: 4,700๐Ÿ˜ณ๐Ÿ’”๐Ÿ’”

I pity my future daughter
Which lie wey she go use comot for house wey I no Sabi โ˜บ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Œ๐Ÿ˜Œ

2 Years Ago I Remember Saying “Ewwwwwwwwwww I Will Never Suck DICK Now I Am Whole Vacuum Cleaner” ๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

Some people just de take wetin u post here personal like say u borrow their phone take post am even this one too them fit still take am personal

Her Nipple Is Salty Because Her BRA IS DIRTY ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Someone that got F9 in chemistry na your body cream plug abi

Women don’t Apologize,
They explain until u become guilty
๐Ÿ™†๐Ÿ™†

Some guys can form sha. Carrying Laptop bag wit LUDO inside ๐Ÿ˜‚
๐Ÿ™†

Weed is illegal but Razler have NAFDAC number.
This story no clear๐Ÿ™„

Dating me is stressful.I no sabi cuddle,
Small hug u Don collect one round.
๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

Always Drink Garri with Onions so that if garri wan blind your Eyes, Onions go open them๐Ÿฅด๐Ÿฅด

Before u call a guy ugly
Remember that 95% of your beauty can be wiped with a handkerchief ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Na who get money dey know whether bank get issues
You don see me insult any bank since?๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น๐Ÿ˜น

Who wants to go on a date with me?
Bills on me
Just run when I run๐Ÿ˜น

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